Saturday, May 24, 2008

A eulogy for Gary "Fish" Tetrazona...

In memoriam

Today I lost my first pet. He was a "Tiger Barb" fish or Puntius tetrazona who looked similar to the stock photograph shown above. His name was Gary. Age indeterminate, he was the "Gray Lady" (though presumed male) of my fish tank, presiding of the other two fish with stoicism and a wizened visage. He wasn't wont to frolic and chase the others (Larry and Moe) around the tank. Instead, he preferred to hang out by the red plastic plant and just sort of float, pondering the greater things while those other two idiots flitted, mindlessly nipping at each other's fins. Yes, Gary liked to float.

I found Gary floating this morning--upside down. Did he die of a broken heart, separated from his true love in the community tank at PetsMart? Did he die of the general malaise that the insane possess and the genius lament? Did he die of the enigmatic fish disease appropriately known as "ick"? We may never know. But, what we know is that Gary will be truly missed. He was a calming presence in my four gallon Biorb fish tank. And though I had no idea how much to feed him, and was knowingly keeping him in a tank too small, with too many fish that were too big for the tank's filtration system, I know today was his chosen time to go, and that I had no role whatsoever in hastening his demise.

This was written by my son, Justin. This is what a lawyer does in his spare time. We share a genetic affinity for the "odd" and "bizarre." It's good to laugh and he makes me laugh like no other person I know. I'm proud to call him "Sonny-boy."

6 comments:

Tiber Jumper said...

He's a good writer, got that from his mom. I hope he's not a malpractice laywyer :)

Kim said...

*sniff* What a moving eulogy. May he rest in peace.

Joyful Catholics said...

Hey Kim...thanks for the comment and the sympathy for Gary. ; )

TJ, he defends insurance companies. If a co. gets a claim, it's usually between the insurance companies...but hoo nose? I think he'd be more apt to defend an insurance co. against malpractice, assuming any of his clients do malpractice insurance. Most of what he does has to do with construction. whew.

Joyful Catholics said...

I guess we can all hope and pray PETA doesn't read this, and come after him [my sonny-boy] for being the dog he is!

Son No. 1 said...

Sadly, Moe joined Gary in the Great Tank in the Sky (But in Water). They have been replaced by two new tiger barbs.

Joyful Catholics said...

And we hope they'll last longer than Gary. Gary Lewis really only had a couple of hits before he "tanked" so maybe Gary's short swim in your Biorb was the result of the lack of popularity of his name? I'm jus' sayin'